Marriage and Dating

 So I want to help you young adults desire to get married and have families, right? Well, this all starts with dating and preparing for marriage. I have felt in the past that marriage seems like more work. My view of marriage consists of two people that thought they were in love long ago, and are stuck together. It has been a big fear of mine to choose the wrong person to spend the rest of my life with. I am sure this is what many peoples fear as well. I have served a mission for my church. This is where I spent 18 months in a different part of the world teaching others about what I believe in. As I spent this time with different kinds of people, I was able to observe different situations of marriage and family. Many things struck me as aspects of marriage and family that I want to implement IF I get married, and aspects that I will not have in my life.

Some of my previous misconceptions of marriage are, marriage is a one-sided love, marriage is a big mess of miscommunication, being single is more freeing, and a perfect marriage is so out of reach it isn't worth it to even pursue.

What are your misconceptions of marriage?

I want you, the reader, to know that a happy marriage is possible. Think of all of those couples you have seen that you wish you could have a love like theirs. It is possible! There are things we can do to prepare and create a happy marriage.

Let's start with dating. "include concepts such as trust, reliance, commitment, affection, emotion, love, needs, and intimacy. Each of these is the subject of endless volumes. However, I believe that they are all related and are the product of only five universal human dynamics working together. The five fundamental dynamics are the depth to which you know, trust, rely on, have a commitment to, and have sexual involvement with another person. The RAM portrays these five dynamics in a way that explains their unique contributions to the bond developed in a relationship, as well as the interactions they have with each other." This is from the book "How to not fall in love with a jerk." I strongly recommend reading this book, I am currently reading it. Carefully choosing a partner is important. Being open-minded, making sure you know the person before you commit to serious things is also very important.

Now let's focus on marriage.

"Another condition of domestic happiness is intellectual sympathy. Man requires a woman who can make his home a place of rest for him, and woman requires a man of domestic tastes. While a woman who seeks to find happiness in a married life will never consent to be wedded to an idler or a pleasure-seeker, so a man of intelligence will wed none but a woman of intelligence and good sense. Neither beauty, physical characteristics nor other external qualifications will compensate for the absence of intellectual thought and clear and quick comprehensions. An absurd idea is held by some that intelligence and domestic virtues cannot go together; that an intellectual woman will never be content to stay at home to look after the interests of her household and children. A more unreasonable idea has never been suggested, for as the intellect is strengthened and cultured, it has a greater capacity of affection, of domesticity and of self-sacrifice for others." (https://www.theepochtimes.com/bright/vintage-dating-and-courtship-etiquette-according-to-a-gentlemans-handbook-from-the-1880s-4258756?utm_source=News&utm_campaign=breaking-2022-02-09-4&utm_medium=email&est=pI9nJi25vmefWrbWDkv1XGDH%2F4hGhPH%2BfMOvkc7mykdQWEMQQtrp5uCBcrN1XzhoiVt020zzxCsX)

A lot of different aspects come together to make a good marriage. From this we see that a beautiful connection with sympathy, love, communication, affection, and self-sacrifice are some of the principles that create long-lasting love. Make a list of aspects you think create the marriage you desire.

Happy marriages exist. You can have a happy marriage. God made each of us unique. We all have our strengths to make a loving companionship. Make sure you know what you want. Be observant of others, really get to know who you are dating. 

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