Families vs. inevitable trials

 This week we talked about family trials and how our responses can either tare our families apart or bring them closer together. Many young people may not want to start families because of the challenges that are ahead of them if they do. Yes, having a family is hard. Caring for kids is hard. Challenges and trials are inevitable.

"While it is true that parents once were more likely to report they were less happy than their childless peers, today that is most definitely not true."..."childless Americans are now more likely to report their lives are lonely, and less likely to report they are meaningful and happy. A clear majority of men and women (nearly 60%) ages 18-55 who do not have kids say they are lonely some, most, or all of the time."

There are many resources and data out there proving that having kids actually doesn't make you less happy. It actually makes you happier and less lonely. I think having a family and creating a meaningful marriage can give people immense purpose in their lives. From my experience, purpose is powerful and valuable to me. "Today, men and women in their prime who have children, especially those who are married and have children, report the greatest happiness and the most meaning in their lives."

If we are aware of how our actions can affect more than ourselves we can get through hard times and emerge closer to our families. I always say, "Conflict does not mean disaster, rather they are opportunities to grow spiritually." I want to share a story from my life. When I was growing up, my mom was really sick. We weren't sure what was making her so sick, none of the doctors were any help, and life seemed to be going down hill as my mom got sicker and sicker.

Although this was hard on me and my siblings, I truly think we got closer because of it. We, as kids, grew up to be observant of others and sensitive to peoples' feelings. We chipped in on house and yard work a lot. Of course, we weren't perfect. I think that because we all had to help whenever my mom wasn't feeling well enough, this affected us in a positive way. We could've gone a different route. We could've ended up different. In difficult times, my family has tried to keep hope, and trust that God has a plan for us. It's been rocky as many trials have hit my family. Despite that, I think we are closer now.

I remember at one point we weren't close at all. I remember praying for something to happen, so our family would be close. Even after having hope and trust in God's plan, it was still hard and people grew apart. I know that God answers prayers. I was pleading for something to happen, and please let it not be a death in the family. Instead, a new life was brought as the oldest in my family had the first grandchild.

Advice for those who may be scared to start a family or enter into a marriage because of all the stuff in between the happy parts; have hope, and have trust that everything will work out. We will never be prepared for what is ahead, but we can look forward to the happy moments. Make sure family is your priority even when it's hard. Turn outward, don't turn to yourself. And even when the hard trials hit, when you raise your family, cleaving to your spouse is one of the best things you can do. Trust in the path, it will all work out.

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