Family Cultures and Traditions
This week I want to talk about creating our own culture when we make our own families and lasting marriages. “The values of the family set the basic tone for the family foundation. They inspire the choice of mission as well as the foundation’s policies and practices. Typically, the values of the individuals who have created the family’s wealth predominate. Entrepreneurs with the single-mindedness and drive to amass fortunes often have powerful and compelling personalities to match. Not surprisingly, then, they shape foundations in their image and according to their values, philosophy, and preferred style of management—just as they did their business.”
My objective is to help young adults to get excited about building their own family culture. I have a friend who grew up in a difficult family situation. She is really excited about starting her own family to get away from the bad parts, the culture, and the rules that have been created.
Why is it important to create our own family culture? “Families that share in their own traditions provide a sense of comfort and security for their families, especially the children involved. Children love routine and consistency; a family tradition provides this year after year. It also helps the children manage the changes in the year and gives them something to look forward to.” Traditions have always been close to my heart.
When I think of family traditions I get happy and excited. I remember how other families had many cool traditions. I would be so jealous of them. Furthermore, I know that children thrive off of a tight-knit family with traditions that they will remember forever. There is something so beautiful about creating your own.
Some young adults don’t want to create families for reasons, such as they don’t want to pass on bad family habits or cultures. I get that. My grandparents both grew up in abusive families. They both tried really hard to break that cycle. They accomplished that. I have seen how their siblings didn’t actively make that choice to stop the abuse. Because of that, they have become the abusers and have continued that vicious cycle.
This shows us that when we actively take charge of creating our own family culture and traditions, we can see change. You don’t always have to be stuck in ways that they have always been.
“The family is changed by the experience of running the foundation, and the foundation, in turn, is influenced by the changes in the family. Founders die, and with them often go their styles of leadership and management. In-laws join the family, importing beliefs, norms, and traditions from their own family cultures. The younger generation comes on board, reflecting a new set of values and experiences and, typically, different funding agendas. Conflicts erupt, circumstances change, and new challenges arise that require trustees to rethink their old ways or to devise different strategies for managing situations.” This excerpt from an article about family culture reinforces the notion that families can change. If your desire to not get married or have a family is influenced by this assumption that families don’t change, then you're wrong.
Personally, some aspects of my own traditions/cultures that I would like to pass on are service and choice. In my family, religious culture service is a big thing. We are always willing to give service and willing to receive it. I have been greatly blessed by serving and being served, and so I feel that that is a culture that I would want to greatly instill on my future family and community.
As for choice, I mean that in my family we are always given the ability to choose. Most often, that choice would be respected. There would be consequences of deciding choices. We weren’t forced into anything. My parents made the choice to not put us in any sport or music unless we specifically asked for it. I am grateful for this because I knew that my choices were respected. I want to give that much value on choice to my future family.
I invite you to reflect on what traditions and cultures you would like to implement in your future family and even what cultures you would like to cut out or change.
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